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Whenever I work on this side project, my relationship ends shortly after

Besides my professional work in software engineering I have a long term side project, the icedcoffee framework . It’s an Objective-C/OpenGL based user interface framework which I started mainly because I once thought it might be a) a great learning experience writing something like this and b) in the long run, a cross-platform solution which is not bloated and quite well designed may be a big win.

Now, I started this project in 2012 and got the basic foundation up and running within a few weeks. Then I got into a serious crisis with my last ex-girlfriend and broke up with her shortly after in the beginning of 2013.

After this I stopped working on icedcoffee. And found a new girl.

Recently, I thought I’d like to dedicate some time to this again, even if it needed porting to make it multi-platform and a lot more work on UI components. So I started working on it again.

Two months later, here I am – being single again. My SO just broke up with me.

Why I am I writing this? Several reasons:

  1. Correlation vs. causation: I am now asking myself, did I start working on the project, because my relationship would go bust or the other way around? Probably both in a way.
  2. Lesson: some things are simply too big as a side project. If you prioritize those over your personal life, you may end up with both: no project and no personal life anymore. I think we nerds oftentimes just don’t get it, because we’re too much in love with our big projects.
  3. Even worse: Don’t fix your side project if you really have to fix something else.
  4. Though I still like the project a lot, I think I am now at a point where I am too afraid of working on it anymore. I would if I’d find people who are also interested in building something like this. But I would never do it completely on my own anymore. Just wanted to let you know.

RIP icedcoffee framework.

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